People always think
They can step up to Smithy,
"Hey look at this little blonde nerd!
I'll beat him quickly."

Although from the surface
I'm pale and I'm sickly,
You might reconsider
Your desire to hit me.

You see, on top of this body,
There's a head,
On that, there's a face,
Under that, mostly red,

But under the red stuff,
There lies a large brain
That can ruin your life,
Through the internet vein.

You may have your fists
But I have all your passwords.
And I can reset them,
And turn your life backwards.
That's right, this rapper/hacker
Has mastered the rather
Complex art
Of causing disasters.

I'm in and then out of your network
Like Casper,
Messing with Smithy
Can be quite a hazard.

I'm dangerous,
In case you didn't get it yet.
Don't mess with a guy
Who raps on the internet.

[Hook]

If you have an email account,
I will hack it.
Your wifi access?
I'll make sure you lack it.
Twitter and Facebook,
I'll put you on a blacklist.
I'll send pizzas to your house,
And mysterious packages.

I'll call in a bomb threat
At your place of employment
And to my enjoyment,
I'll tamper and toy with
Your lotions and ointments,
Create an annoyance,
With crimes that are pointless,
And make some appointments
To dentists.

Getting mad when you don't show,
Make your toilets overflow,
Put your funds in escrow,

Oh, no,
I'm never going to let it go.
You thought you could mess with me,
That was a no-no.

I'm a force to be reckoned with,
As you can now see,
You thought you can give me a pounding,
You're the pound-ee.

When it comes to enemies,
You can't get worse than
Smithy
An intimidating person.

[Hook]

I'll mess up your Netflix queue,
That is a promise,
You're looking for movies,
This song's getting bomb hits.

I'll pose as a teenage girl
And send you IMs.
I'll make you fall in love,
Unaware of who I am.

I'll ask you to meet me
At a seedy hotel,
And we'll make love,
And I'll do very well.

We will go out on dates,
And you'll buy me nice things,
After a couple of years,
You get down on your knee,

And I'll gladly accept your
Lovely proposal,
And we'll brag to the family
Of our loving betrothal.

We'll pick out the flowers
And food and the church,
We have a couple of fights,
But marriage takes work.

I buy a white dress
That I look fabulous in,
The church doors open,
The guests pour in.

As I walk down the aisle
With tears in my eyes.
I'll take off my wig.
You had sex with a guy!